yup. today's plans went astray. Not unlike my intention to post a feminist rant of some discription re: the rage that had hold of me all yesterday over body image and such, rekindled by that Miller girl's 'plus sized' feature in Glamour, or whatever it was. I'm sure it'll get posted. Half of it saved as a draft before I disappeared to do things in the real world. But for now..
Today was going to be stupidly lazy. Last night I taped a swarm of semi-trash, and documentaries as well, on Damir's foxtel contraption, to get me through what was a Saturday with no plans and the anticipation of very little study motivation. The plan was to vegetate and stare at them, escape into that happy little world that such shows promote until forced out.
Instead, I slept a solid ten hours in a nest of pillows, after reading comfortably for the first time in months as opposed to at an odd angle in my plastic chair, until my eyes burned despite the cosy gentleness of the lamp being used. Don't know whether it was the comfortableness, the tiredness, or simply the air-of-the-boyfriend that remained in the house even when he'd gone, but it was a very very peaceful eve. Woke up refreshed and in studious slow mo. In no hurry to move, so studied some and became enthralled by tales of archeology and arks, religions and relics, countries and countryside , thanks to the History channel. Someone who struggles to lie in bed even after just five hours sleep, stayed put until nearly noon, completely absorbed and relaxed. Grand. Incidently, another thing that was grand , was being allowed to stay at all :D But more about that later. More about the actual docos later, I suspect. When the ability to form sentences, better sentences, has woken up a bit more and when I've done more work etc.
Spent another chunk of the day reading in the sunshine outside, talking to the neighbour and her dog, and just generally soaking in the world. Much better than escapist tv, I must say. But rain and curiousity about things only the internet could inform me of , following on from things read and seen during the morning, forced me back inside. No hardship considering aforementioned warm light is now on again and the whole room feels like home. Spacious enough to not be cramped. Cosy enough to not be lost. I like it.
And I like Baillie St. Sitting on the steps out the front of the house and seeing skeletal trees stretching either side of me,similar houses with their little individualities, strange cloud patterns above me, people and pooches passing , the works. love.
anyway..will come back, fix this up, write things , but for now... burning to learn more. see more. do more.
xxx
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